Often, when we take a look back at old photos or videos of ourselves, we wonder "what was I thinking?" We are ashamed of how we looked, acted, spoke, whatever. Many of us wonder at times, what will happen "upstairs" after 120 years. How will my life be judged?
For one, we can take a look at our own home videos and photos and see for ourselves. Are we satisfied with how we behaved or even looked back then? Most often the answer is an astounding NO. Most of us are critical of ourselves, extremely so. Does our criticism help us become better, is what we need to be asking ourselves.
When we look back at the life we've lived, can we say we've improved? Were we able to eradicate old habits or are we still fighting them, years later? Is our spiritual standing better off? Do we pray better? Are we better people? Do we feel closer to Hashem? Are we good and faithful representatives of the Master of the Universe and His Torah?
Hard questions to ask ourselves. But when we look over our lives - all it is, is a sum total of our actions or inaction; our speech or silence; our acts of kindness; our good words and everything in between. If we want to honestly prepare for the change that is coming with the redemption, we should take a look at ourselves and ask these, albeit difficult questions. They will need to be answered one day. If they serve as a catalyst for our betterment today, they will stand in our merit tomorrow.